How to Help Kids Build a Positive Relationship with Fitness
I’ve been on a journey of trying to improve my own physical health and fitness for over a year now.
I rejoined the local gym and started going weekly. But the most important thing - I am taking my kids with me.
I grew up in a household that did not exercise together. I do recall many of my family members having a difficult relationship with fitness, which created for me an association with self-punishment. Like exercise was something to dread, a way to punish yourself after eating too much or gaining a few pounds.
Many of us have experienced a sports coach or a parent who uses exercise as a punishment. While the idea that making a child exercise is helping them while punishing may be in the right place, what that actually does is create a negative relationship with exercise.
When I was a young child, I lived near my adoptive grandparents, who were farmers. I loved to work on the farm, care for the animals, tend the fields, and just be out in the open air. I spent my weekends there for much of my early life.
When I was in middle school, I started dance classes. I started getting more involved in sports and other activities outside of school. But I always felt like I was overweight. I technically have been since junior high, according to doctors. But looking at pictures, I didn’t look overweight – I looked muscular with broad shoulders. I remember when I first got warned by the doctor about my BMI. I didn’t know back then that it is a terrible measurement of health. I took it to heart. I was crushed.
I started trying to exercise and workout specifically for the purpose of losing weight, but it didn’t feel like it made a difference. I got disheartened. No matter how much cardio I did, or how much weight I lost, I still got comments that I “just needed to lose a little bit to have a great body.” This might seem like a shocking thing to say to a teenager these days, but it was quite a common sort of comment to hear in the 2000’s era…if you know, you know.
Since then, I have had a difficult relationship with fitness. I will be motivated for a while, but then I will lose steam and give in to self-doubt.
But I’m on a mission to change that – not only because of my own personal health goals, but also because I want to build the habit for my children.
We have always done a lot of walking outside in nature and going to parks. But the first time I took my kids to the indoor track, they were in awe.
They both love to run, and when they saw other people running, they were eager to join. They started doing laps, racing with each other. My daughter would even run with other people and try to keep pace with them.
(She’s one of those “never met a stranger” kids)
Before long, it became a regular family activity. We go to the gym, and the kids and I go straight to the indoor track to stretch, walk, and run.
After a while, I take them to the childcare center and finish my workout. But sometimes, they don’t even want to go to the kids’ playground because they are having so much fun running on the track. I never thought I’d see the day my kids chose anything else over going to the playground.
It’s honestly such a beautiful thing!
Another thing that my kids love - YOGA! I started going to regular yoga classes about a year ago, but I had done some yoga at home now and then since long before I had children. My daughter has always been fascinated by the poses and loves to recreate them. Lately, whenever I go to yoga class, the kids beg me to take them to the class with me. While I can’t do that…I’ve taken to doing yoga at home with them.
Sometimes, when they are upset that they can’t come to the proper class with me, I will promise to teach them some of the poses that we did in class. That makes them so happy and they get to feel included. I’m looking into some family yoga classes for when they’re a little bit older (my youngest is a little rowdy for a zen yoga session).
Excercise together with your kids! Let them run with you! Teach them how to play basketball at the Y. Find a local family yoga class.
Do anything active, but make it an exciting family activity.
And lastly, never use exercise as a punishment. We want as many positive associations and as few negative associations as possible.
It makes me so happy to see my kids loving exercise and just getting into the habit. I get to bond with my kids and spend time with them, while also building up their self-image and healthy habits. I hope that this will be the foundation of a lifelong healthy relationship with fitness!